Updated: Apr 2, 2021
On a winter's night I settled down to do a long meditation and I always enjoyed looking across the room and seeing my mosaic candleholder that I lit so I can stare at the flame as part of my ritual to get centered. Then something magical began.
I remember being disappointed in myself and asking was it karma that I made this mistake or just bad judgement on my part that got me into this problem with my taxes and not enough cash in the coffers. It's nice to think that karma comes back on us and we can share some of the blame for the path our lives take by saying, "well it wasn't really me, it was something from the old me, that lifetime in ...." That is the spiritual version of the devil made me do it.
As I struggled and argued yet again with "The Divine" about understanding how we repeat problems time and time again, I finally found some peace in my complaining. My eyes closed and I slid into that space of "nothingness" that I love so well. Softly I hear a whisper in the room - understand your past lives.
I love meditating because of the silencing of my thoughts and the blocking of other people's soul chatter. The "silent space" is such a great place to slip into since my brain is always firing.
After about 10 minutes I dreamily opened my eyes and thought about my mosaic candle. The artistry of the tiny chips of coloured glass all different sizes, pasted and held together by the clay or grout to form these beautiful designs. These images now came into my consciousness and the magic began . . .
I suddenly had a knowing that I was the mosaic candleholder. Each of those beautiful pieces of glass were one of my past lives, different colours, various shapes, they looked broken in a way but God put them together with his clay and it formed this beautiful container.
The flame I had lit was the symbol of my soul within, my light shining within me this lifetime and tears began to flow down my face but I felt that flame inside of me.
Next I had a vision like the photo above seeing the uniqueness of each of these designs. How could I never have recognized the differences between us are not just our skin colour or different facial features, even our height or weight or the lines on our faces. We of course need to shine differently because the path it took for each soul was a complex plan that we can only admire in each other when we meet again now.
I finally came to terms with karma and a souls journey through life after life.
We are not broken but the pieces of all that we have ever been and the light that shines within is our divinity, our souls perfection. Each of these pieces was needed to mark the path of who we have become.
I no longer felt blame for the paths that I had taken or the bad karma I had questioned.
I realized it's part of what I'm learning and if I let my love and light shine through it will become clear what I need to do next. Listen to the whispers of my soul and follow that good advice because the soul knows and it is forever talking to God about what's next and what to do.
What I learned that night was profound. There is no wrong about the path I took to get to where I am today - Let the light of my soul lead the way!